His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
