Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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