Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
