508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
