Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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