How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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