This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize