remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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