why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
