12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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