he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize