Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
