I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
