So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
