I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize