Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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