bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
