I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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