I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize