Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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