Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
