I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
