Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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