Do you still have your period?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
