Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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