there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize