If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
