i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well most of my day revolves around power hour
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
