I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
