Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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