I hate your face
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
