you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
