I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I could make wine with my vomit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
