You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
