so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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