real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
