It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
