my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
