It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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