alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
