Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We were destined to go to rehab together
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
