I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
