party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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