it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
