Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
