this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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