so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
