why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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