I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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