Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I accidentally had phone sex last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
