My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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