So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize