its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
