i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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