what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
