I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Quick, to the slutcave!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
