I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
