shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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