how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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