All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
