So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
