Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
