i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
wow bdsm is so cute
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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