Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
