i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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