That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
