the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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