lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
