return my video game
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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