New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
