cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize