Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
