Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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