she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
