Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
