Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I cannot find my penis.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
