Your tits are I can't wait for
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
