you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
