I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
